SUPER MOM?

I have held on to the illusion that somehow I oculd make myself "SuperMom"- you know... the mom who take Mrs. Proverbs 31 and makes her look a lazyface? Lovingly growing her baby's fruits and vegetables from seedlings, tending the garden, pureeing them into delicious meals and then lovingly serving them, and freezing the leftovers, all while quietly and delightfully homeschooling the older children, having an immaculate home, complete with freshly baked cookies (healthy & delicious, of course), neatly folded laundry, and happy sounds of children reading and playing. I dreamed of what it would be like to turn in to the SuperMom of my illusions.... I hoped that if I just tried harder, I could do it.

Along the first 6 years of my journey of mothering, I have come to realize more and more that I am not now, nor will I ever be SuperMom, as evidenced by the fact that I often feel a taser would be a lovely item to have in my home or that I tend to get irritated with incessant whining and crying (because, you know SuperMom doesn't get irritated) and want to smack my children with rubber mallets.... (I think my anger language is physical touch!) I now know that SuperMom doesn't actually exist... she is made up. A figment of my imagination, a made up creature, similiar to a unicorn, or a flying pig. I have been trying to let go of SuperMom aspirations. And it's unbelievably hard. And it's amazingly freeing.
I don't grow Ruby's baby food because if I did- she would be eating weeds. Yum-o. And I don't get up at the crack of dawn and prepare wonderful, homemade from scratch meals everyday because if I did, I'd be in bed by 5 p.m. I don't have an immaculate home. Some days I'm just happy to have a somewhat filthy house.... but that's another post. I don't have well thought out, completely organzied and incredibly creative lesson plans for the homeschooling.... etc. etc. etc. I oculd go on about what I don't have/do that makes me the un-SuperMom, but instead, I need to start focusing on what makes me GoodMom.
Yup. I'm not afraid to admit it- I'm a Good Mom. Not a great mom, not an awful mom. A Good Mom. A mom who loves her kids with everything that God has put in me, but still longs for a break from them because they are causing me to go permanently crazy. A mom who does think about things like nutrition, exercise, media usage and the like and wants to do everything I can to have healthy children. A mom who loves God and will just have to learn that the days of morning "quiet time" that lasted over an hour (or over 5 seconds) are gone for now. A mom who wants God's best for her kids, even when it's really hard. A mom who wants to grow alongside her kids.... and enjoy them.... and sometimes complain about them and sometimes crack up at them, but always, always, always love them...even when they are crying and screaming because someone has touched them with a pillow and it "Really, really hurt"... (ahh... a pillow? comeon!!). A mom who will post this blog, wake up her littlest two, get shoes on, return 7 late library books and run through a drive through while her husband is away at a meeting and not feel one bit bad about it... A mom who will spend the entire drive to the library (over 25 minutes) opera singing about road signs and cracking her kids up, say no to toys at the drive through and then probably spend the whole trip home banging her head against the steering wheel because the good time has turned into cryfest because of her moody 4 year old, nut case 6 year old, screamy toddler and hungry infant. Yup... Good Mom is out. Peace.