After an unintentionally long break in blogging, I have been yearning to write a new post for quite some time. But, I also yearn for sleep.... and so in the spare moments, that's what will win.
I don't really think I have to tell you that our house is mass chaos,pretty much 24-7. I like to tell myself it's somewhat orderly, organized mass chaos.... Yes... I like to tell myself that as I step over the raisins *SweetPea* has dumped on the floor and avoid the sharp Legos in the hallway as I make my way through the house.
I think one of the main reasons, aside from life, that I haven't blogged with any regularity for quite some time is just the sadness that seems to have permeated my heart. Giving birth is a wonderful, crazy experience and I am blessed to have done it 4 times, safely and relatively safely. However, it really throws a girl's body for a loop, you know? Hormones all over the place.... doesn't help the sad.
My wonderful Grandpa passed away in April and my heart still really hurts. I am reminded each day as prayer requests come to my husband from church members via phone, email or Facebook about how fragile this life is and my heart is heavy as I hear those requests. My children, oh, the darlings.... they each have their own amazing strengths and incredible challenges. It might be a health issue, behavioral thing, current stage, temprament challenge, but they're all still so little and they're all going through different challenges right now. My husband is adjusting to life as a minister and we're all still getting used to life in the country. Loneliness seems to be an overwhelming thing and I miss my family in NY a lot.
In the midst of what feels heavy and sad, I know in my mind and believe in my heart that God is faithful, that these things are not permanent, that they are not in and of themselves major ordeals, and that my joy comes from the Lord.
And so, I write a blog post. Because for me, blogging has always been a good outlet. And, I need some good way to document some of the actual silliness that goes on here!
1 comments:
Hi, Lisa. I am SOOOOOOO happy that you posted a blog entry. I have missed you.
I had post partum depression only once and it was after my fourth baby. I felt like everyone either belittled how I was feeling OR they said they "understood" how I was feeling. That mostly just annoyed me and made it worse.
I'll be praying for you. Hugs.
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