Thoughts from the Road

Driving home from my parents the other day, attempting to keep the van on the road, I looked in my rear view mirror and saw my kiddos. The big two were cracking up at a Shawn the Sheep DVD we had purchased earlier in our trip at the grocery store and the little one was sound asleep in her car seat. I found myself alone with my thoughts and began to pray- Lord... show me.
You see, it's that time again, the time where our family is in transition.... story of our lives, it seems. This time six years ago, Jefferson and I were in a time of transition, sensing God leading us away from the church we were at, but not really knowing where he would call us. This time, three years ago, Jefferson, Superman, Ladybug and I were celebrating Jefferson's graduation from Geneva College's Master's in Higher Education program, figuring that God was calling our family to an institution of higher learning to minister to college students. Not so. In a surprising example of irony, He called us back to the church we had left three years earlier. Ha! The time one year ago, we were beginning to celebrate Jefferson's graduation from Seminary, a degree he completed only after we didn't end up at a college. :) Now, one year later, we anticipate his "first" call to a pastorate and find ourselves, once again.... waiting.
So, back to my trip in the van... My prayer began, as it most always has, "Lord, show us where you want us. Show us where you want our family to be... and here is a list of possible locations that I've got in mind... you just let me know which one of these it is, ok?" And so on...
Here's the thing... in praying for wisdom and asking God to show us where He wants us, I felt him reminding me of a few things: 1. He is faithful. In almost ten years of marriage, God has never once, not even once, left Jefferson and I or our children. He will take us where He wants us. He knows our hearts, He knows our desires, and He knows what's best for our family. 2. God has loaned us three of His amazing children to love, nurture and teach about Him. Regardless of where we go, we go as a family and we go with the primary task of shaping three young hearts to know, love and follow the Lord. 3. I can do nothing. Every time I try to make plans, or figure things out, every single time, I become anxious, I worry and I stress out. Every time I confidently place my fears and worries into God's hands and loosen my grip, He holds them and handles them. Every time.
I drove along the highway, watching my kids, watching the road, and marveling at the amazing God, who loves me so much that He sent Jesus, a literal piece of Himself, to earth for me. Even me. Even my husband. Even my kids. I marvel that in spite of myself, and my long list of annoying habits, and habitual sins, God has an amazing love for me and holds me in His hands with a grip that doesn't let go. And I was amazed. Amen.